My Little Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day, my little one!  It's just too perfect to be spending this day of love with you.  Your dad has to work today so I asked you this morning to be my Valentine. 

You've been so active this week and you're starting new movements that feel like you're trying to walk inside of me rather than just kicking.  Last night you were stretching and put your foot straight up.  You just left it there for a moment leaving the cutest little bulge right above my belly button.  I can tell you're getting bigger which is nothing but wonderful for us! 

We hit two big milestones tomorrow:

1.  You're 30 weeks along!  From the moment we learned of our complicated pregnancy, our goal was to reach the 30 week mark.  This seemed so far away when we were just at 20 weeks.  We've been through alot since that time, but every moment that you have stayed safe and healthy inside me is another moment that I can praise the Lord and another moment that brings us closer to giving you a better chance at life.  We did have a little scare a few nights ago when I started to have very regular contractions and needed to be transferred to the triage room for further evaluation.  It turned out everything was okay and I just needed to get some IV fluids overnight to help keep us hydrated.  Hopefully, that won't happen again and you will stay nice and quiet for the next 6 weeks!

2.  We've been in the hospital for 2 whole weeks!  Not gonna lie, I was completely devastated when we had to be admitted again.  The first week of the admission really flew by in a blur.  This was probably for several reasons to include being emotionally drained, my steroid psychosis (which started this blog), getting a picc line, and being sleep deprived.  I remember one day in particular that I didn't do anything the entire day other than just laying in bed.  I didn't even turn on the TV or attempt to read a book, I just needed to lay there.  My mood began to change on day 3 and has only gotten better.  This past week I have stayed busy with visitors and starting a new research project.  Although everyday is fairly similar to the last, I try to do something different everyday and I try to give myself things to look forward to.  Sometimes all you have to look forward to in the short term is when the next meal is delivered, but in the long run I get to look forward to seeing you.  I've never been very good at delayed gratification, but in this circumstance, the longer I can wait the happier we will both be!

Yesterday I watched a video posted on the internet from one of my Chi-O sisters of her baby boy that was born at 32 weeks.  She and her husband documented her hospital stay, her c-section, and his stay in the NICU with a wonderful video.  I cried through the whole thing, but it was so inspirational especially considering how well he is doing.  Hopefully we won't have to go through that, but I did take a tour of the NICU the other day just so I would be prepared.  I felt one of the scariest things would be for you to go to the NICU after delivery and I wouldn't be able to go with you and not knowing where you are or what was happening to you. 

I must say, Cade, you have given me one of the most memorable Valentine's Days ever!  You have already blessed my life in so many ways and you have taught me more about love than I even knew possible.  You have taught me what it is like to love selflessly, without expectations, and with patience!  I love you to the moon and stars and back.

Love,
Mom

1 Corinthians 13
   If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
   Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
   Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part,  but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.